My hair fixes itself. Or, it used to. That is, it stood up on its own like Iggy Peck’s magnificent coiffure.
Now that my head is growing into my hair, I require a bit more maintenance.
These days I can’t go anywhere without a whale spout on my head. Usually it’s centered, slightly skewed to the side if Stella has yanked it out of place. I can’t complain. It beats being bald. Except, I think I would have liked wearing color coordinated headbands with enormous flowers and bows and feathers, but oh well. Oh, by the way, did you know, I’ve already had multiple “haircuts.” It started at 3 months. Apparently I had quite the mullet. One day Mom just cut it off and nobody has seen it since. Except she doesn’t know how to cut hair, and even after watching multiple Youtube tutorials, it still looks like she stuck a bowl on my head and went to town. Soooo…yeah. We won’t talk about it anymore.
My hands are dainty. I can fit my whole fist in my mouth. I’ll enjoy it while I can. Note: My hands are also swift. I’ll grab any nose that wanders within inches from my face.
I have a secret superhero identity. Sophie is just a pen name. My real name is ELASTIBABY! My feet can scratch my nose and if I ever get bored, I can chew on my toes indefinitely.
I am easily amused. I could spend all day turning around in circles on my stomach and backing myself into corners. Or rolling myself into blankie burritos. My favorite game is to lie still when Mom lays me down on a blanket, and then once she walks away to do damage control on whatever Stella has broken in half in some other room, I wiggle away as fast as I can in any direction. Then when Mom comes back to check on me, it looks like I’ve crawled all the way across a whole room. When I’m not free to move as I please on the floor, I’ll settle for sticking out my tongue and wrinkling my nose while blowing air out of my nostrils, or gnawing on my favorite teething toy: Mom’s face. I tried Dad’s. It’s just not the same.
I can eat as much as I want. I’ve discovered purees in this order: sweet potato, squash, apple, avocado, peach, mango, banana, blueberry, pea, pear, plum. So delish. Peas + thyme. Squash + chili powder. Sweet potato + cumin. Blueberry + lemon. Pear + corriander/ginger. I do have to eat that multigrain mush that smells like old paper because Mom doesn’t believe in rice cereal, but I only have to eat it once a day, and if it means I get to eat pears after, then so be it. And, an added bonus? I can eat all day and still look like a small potato next to Stella.
Yes, I wear all Stella’s old clothes and play with toys she doesn’t want anymore (which don’t really exist because as soon as I pick something up she swoops in to grab it, feigning interest only because I want it), and share the bathwater she’s probably peed in (or so she says), but life is good. Who wouldn’t want to be me?